We all know about it.
It's impossible to ignore.
So why not have a blog post about it?
The Blizzard of 2011.
It was Saturday when i caught word
Of the winter storm in the works.
My immediate reaction was skepticism.
This was a re-run of disappointing hype
That is the reality of mid-western "snow storms."
But this did not stop me from rumoring
The exaggerated amount of accumulation.
I spread the word like propaganda
Against the ruling tyrant in Egypt.
However, it remained unknown what this storm would produce.
Monday passed like the Thursday before a weekend trip.
As i read weather reports, hope conjured its way
Through my hardened heart.
Excitement built tension block by block,
Minute by minute.
The day concluded.It was time to sleep.
Yet i found myself wide-eyed,
Tossing and turning, like a child on Christmas Eve.Weather patterns drifted through my dreams.
I beat my alarm to morning. 8:03.
I didn't want to get out of bed.
Fear stirred as i thought about what was outside.
Not fear from 20 inches of snow,
But at grass springing through powder,
Reaching for the light as the Sun beat down on the ground.
Tentatively, i peered through the blinds.
With the building across the street barely visible,
The Blizzard of 2011 officially began.
It was only hours later that i became stir crazy.
The Flight of the Conchords was a band-aid
On a wound that needed to be stitched.
So the roommates and I went on a walk before lunch
To assess the damage and the possibility of leaving the APT.
The odds were not good.
In fact, we had simply picked the scab
That protected the wound inflicted by the blizzard.
(Really bad imagery, i know).
Nonetheless, Potato Soup was not the remedy.
Neither was Gladiator.
Nor Stranger than Fiction.
And Million Dollar Baby fell short as well.
The only cure would be to get outside.
And so being snowed in was the present i had to embrace.
Before Million Dollar Baby (see above for link to Wikipedia)
I provided Dakota Kildoo with a video tour via Skype of our snow fall.
He was amazed.
Snow is ridiculous.
Anyway, that naturally led into a conference call
To make sure the world had not ended in other regions of the US.
Arizona, you still exist. Iowa, you too.
And the south side of Joplin, you too barely exist.
Anyway, on day 2 of literally being snowed in,
I escaped.
After a morning of the Flight of the Conchords,
We decided we had to risk it.We had to get out. Or die.
So, we took our kitchen bowls outside to test our luck.
We were lucky.
Someone let us borrow a snow shovel.
We excavated Ray's car like an archaeologist uncovering rare fossils.
And went to Ozark to play some basketball.
With no problems coming or going,
I settled back into my nest while my roommates flew the coop,
Which brings us to the present.
Meanwhile, i have been working on what i like to call a "Blizzard Beard."
Pictures to come, i promise.Anyway, stay safe and remember: The world still exists.
As i got my haircut on Sunday,
My youth sponsor who so generously cuts my hair said this:
"Halloween isn't much,
IF You don't make a big deal out of it."
She said a lot.
IF we don't experience Halloween, What's left?
Ironically, death (ironic because Halloween has routs in celebrating death).
October is buried along with nature.
It does not commemorate
a person (ie. Columbus Day, which also celebrates death).
or event (some would argue the end of summer,
but I'm not convinced because summer ends at the Autumnal Equinox
[September 23rd this year]. Notably, before October.)
or relationship.
It is simply,
your experience that makes this holiday.
Strip away:
the costumes, candy, pumpkins, and colors
and you are left baron of all but the birth of November.
But, because of it's postmodern aspect,
Halloween has its heyday.
Creating costumes, inventing identities,
We live in the experience of Halloween.
Why? because happiness is summer vacation
and change occurs with the New Year and October is the in between.
So, our malcontent lives on, yearning for another season of life
disguising itself in the dress of experience.
Halloween is what we want to experience.
Reality is what we do experience.
So, why celebrate a holiday about experience?
Instead, actually create an experience.
It snowed the last few days- about 5 inches.
Its kind of nice knowing that winter isn't quite dead.
I'm not ready for the warm breeze and pollen.
I'm not ready for color to exist in the world again.
I'm not ready for longer hours of sunshine.
I simple want to enjoy the greyness that is winter.
And the snow has done the trick.
People were building this storm up quite a bit, and it was somewhat of a let down; however, it is snow nonetheless, the very epitome of winter. Because of the hype of the approaching snow storm Thursday Night, the entire day of Thursday was a wash (even though there was no snow or rain). Rumors of no classes spread like an epidemic, resulting in an afternoon of apathy. Complaining coupled with wishes and prayer accumulated, as did the falling sleet.
Powder piled up on Friday afternoon, producing pure panic from mid-western drivers. Roads were deserted, leaving a ghost town. The few cars that bared the "blizzard" slid back and forth like a sled being towed. Unfortunately, many of those cars needing towed themselves.
The beginning of the weekend came and past, and Saturday got stuck in the snow. The day drags on as mindless hours are spent in the dorm. Waiting for dissipation, the stubborn snow seems to stick around forever, stretching Saturday into what seems like a century.
And so, here is what snow in the mid-west boils (maybe not an appropriate verb to describe snow) down to:
Poor driving, elongated weekends, mindless hours, and my attempt at writing a descriptive narrative of a Mid-western Winter.
Observation: Everyone looks forward to Christmas. Some have even began the countdown til next Christmas
But not me.... Because Christmas is boring.
Even if it is also my birthday
Here's why:
You spend so much time in anticipation. School is let out and you sit at home all day, shaking presents, watching TV, and reflecting on the big day to come. Sometimes it snows, and we have a white Christmas, which is only good in the romanticist thoughts of it. And then it arrives. All the wrapping is removed and we revel in the received gifts.
And then its over.
There are no more gifts to open, family leaves, and the left-overs are put away.
And the only thing left is a gaping void that cannot be filled by your new toys.
And so, Christmas is boring.
After the hour of opening gifts and the amazing lunchtime meal with family, there is nothing left to do.
Everything is closed and suddenly the excitement that exuded your house as gifts were unwrapped dissipates
and your house turns into a confined prison cell.
TV is monotonous. You can only watch Its a Wonderful Life and The Christmas Story so many times.
And there is some unwritten rule that the entirety of Christmas is family time, leaving the option of company unacceptable.
Call me a Grump, or a Scrooge, or whatever term you want,
but the fact remains that modern Christmas is as boring as watching the snow melt.
So, i wouldn't mind if the Grinch stole Christmas. It would only be a punishment.
In fact, I hope Santa gifts it to him.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Christmas break is here.
Which actually means a break.
It's not like Thanksgiving break where assignments, family gatherings, and traveling hang over your head.
Outside of work, there is nothing to get done.
So here is my Christmas Break Agenda:
1. Eat Taco Bueno. For the west-coasters, this is like Oklahoma's Tex-Mex version of In-and-Out. It is what i crave.
2. Sleep till 10:00.
3. Watch Bowl Games. Specifically the Cotton Bowl (January 2nd).
4. Read for Fun. I have been pretend reading Pilgrims Progress for months now.
5. Go to real coffee shops. Joplin seems to have destroyed anything not Starbucks.
6. Clean my guitar so i can think about playing it.
7. Spend Money.
8. Whatever i want. Because it is Christmas Break.
boo-yah.
My October posting was minimal. Reason?
Because its October and i love October so the amount of time that i spent at my computer
was spent typing papers and such.
ALSO
Because every time i post something, someone gets offended.
Or someone complains about how "lame" the post was
Or how ridiculous it was
And then i feel bad about it.
And then i get over it.
But someone stays mad.
So i have limited my posts. In fact, i have 3 "draft" posts,
So i think i will just start posting those and when people get upset i will simply reply:
Don't read my blog.
But for those who do, i hope you are entertained.
And be prepared for some posts that mention October a lot.
Because i LOVE October.
Too bad it is now November...
The month of Pigs.
September has been one crazy month. Since my last post, i moved into the dorms, started school, and also started soccer (club team). It has definitely been one crazy month: messy, smelly, and fat. One may say, Pig-like. Which brings me to my post: Swine Flu.
I am convinced that i was a victim of H1N1
Evidence:
Symptoms: fever, stuffy nose, dry cough, sore throat, and headache. This means i had all the major symptoms of Swine Flu, other than severe body aches.
Time Frame: Swine Flu lasts for about 8 days, the exact amount of time i felt under the weather. Coincidence?
Treatment: After 48 hours of symptoms, it is not necessary to see a doctor. So, i did not. They simply recommend that
you treat your symptoms. So i took an immunity booster and drank lots of water/juice.
To solidify my argument for my H1N1 experience, i will reveal that i came into contact with someone who had a confirmed case of swine flu.
Therefore, i survived the 2009 H1N1 flu pandemic.
I wore the H1N1 truth on my sleeve for all to see so that they may beware of my contagious nature; however, no one took me serious. They simply brushed my illness off as another seasonal cold... in September... very usual... And now, many are feeling under the weather as a result of their ignorance. Truth: when i get sick, i really do get sick. Don't ignore the signs of swine flu.
So you may be wondering, was it actually swine flu? Does it matter? I was sick...
Also, i am convinced that my strain of swine flu mutated into a stomach flu that has ravaged my dorm floor that past week. Coincidence? doubtful.
Here is the absolute truth about swine flu: It is not the violent strand that it is made out to be. The only reason H1N1 gets the publicity it does, is the contagious respiratory nature of the disease. Fact: Most H1N1 deaths have been a result of complications resulting from a pre-existing condition. In reality, it kills LESS people on average than the regular seasonal flu strand. So while the media hypes the poser infectious disease of H1N1, i will be concerned for those who come down with the real dangerous disease: seasonal flu.
It is raining cats and dogs right now.
Actually, its raining rain. But it is absolutely monsooning (new word). Rain is the best thing in the world. Not only does it make things green and pretty, but is also cleans everything, including my car windshield, which was splattered with bug guts until this afternoon. I love the rain because of its redemptive factors.
But sometimes rain gets a bad rap.
Ok, maybe this is understandable for a select few, although many rain involved incidences are induced by negligence.
But i don't understand how people get away with blaming depression on rain. Or why in movies bad things happen in the rain. Or why everyone stays inside when it is raining. It seems like the world is out to get rain. I'm willing to say that rain makes everything awesome. (probably not an accurate statement but don't bust my bubble).
I think there is a logical reason why everyone seems to hate rain, other than it gets things wet.
So, let's take a brief look at the history of rain:
The first recorded occurrence of rain is recorded in Genesis 7 (Noah and the Ark). This is how the story goes:
The world was indulged in sin. Everyone thought and did evil all the time. It was a horrible place, and God didn't receive the praise he was due. So he sent a rediculous rain storm, resulting in a flooded earth, demolishing all the evil that had developed, and making a clean slate for humanity.
And ever since then, it has been raining. That is the complete history of rain. So what's my logical reason why rain gets a bad rap? I am glad you asked.
The world hates rain because it loves sin.
Follow my logic:
1. The first time it rained, it destroyed evil.
2. The world loves evil (sex, drugs, and rock and roll).
3. Therefore, the world hates rain because it destroyed what it loves.
So when you say that you hate rain, you are really expressing your love of sin. (boom roasted).
Do you want to be a sin lover?
No?
Then, you must be a rain-lover.
Now grab your umbrella and take out your trash.
I don't know how often to write on this, so i'll just write when i feel like it. It is my blog...anyway,
August is here. Already.
And that means the following year will be the 17th of playing soccer. [Insert: "Wow. That is a long time."]
When i was younger and just starting my life of soccer, my club team played in a tournament called:
"The Dawg Days of August"--- That was the cool way of spelling Dawg.
We lost every game in that tournament, which ironically was played in Joplin.
Since then, Club soccer has left the city of Joplin. It was kind of expected. None of their teams were any good, they were just not as bad as my team. Other than playing on a horrible team, here's why we lost every game:
August in Joplin
It was not that the Referees were terrible, or that the field was small, or that the ball was flat. It wasn't the rain or the clouds. It was the HEAT.
And I grew up in Tulsa, so i was used to the hot, end of summer days that compose August in the mid-west.
But Joplin is a completely different kind of heat. And in a bad way. Let me explain:
Other cities, such as Tulsa, St. Louis, Kansas City, Dallas, and "larger" mid-American cities experience the same heat that we feel in Joplin. It is just something that comes with the landscape. But none of those places experience the kind of heat that is experienced in Joplin. They have something that is soothing. They all have something to relieve them from the blistering sun. A coolness clouds the heat in those cities.
The heat is different in Joplin, because it sucks all the coolness out of anything, including the weather.
But one thing that Joplin has in August is school, namely Ozark. And i am excited about that. I really think that i could be a professional student. I love learning. But since that is impractical, i will graduate. And then after that, all the coolness will disappear from Joplin, and so will i. [me leaving does not affect the coolness of joplin, the coolness of joplin affects me leaving] I will move on to a less sweltering, unknown place, with lots of cloud cover. And until then, i will try to keep Joplin's heat from burning me.
So, here's looking forward to April showers, May flowers, and the Dawg Days of August 2010 not in Joplin.
