Today

Today it seems nearly impossible to get any actual work done.
This is bad because:

1. I have a LOT to do.
2. Tomorrow we look at houses!
3. Wednesday I get a haircut.
4. Thursday I go to Phoenix.

And I'm not going to do anything while I'm on vacation.
Ok, maybe on my 3 hour plane ride but that's really only to look cool by pulling out my MacBook.

Guys, my schedule is packed. When will I have time to get my work done??!?!?!?!?

JK. I make my own office hours. I think I'll work tonight over a bowl of Quinoa Vegetable Soup and a bottle of Merlot.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

When You're Under Employed

As I exposed in my last blog post, I'm "under employed" at the moment.
I'm not unemployed-- I still make money.
I'm just not working a 40 hour work week.
What that means though is that I have more free time than most.
So here's some suggestions for those that find themselves either unemployed or under employed:

1.  Wake Up with Your Spouse.

This sounds like really lame advice.  I assure you, it's not.  When your spouse goes to work and sees that you're still sleeping, the first thing to shoot through their mind is "I wish that were me."  Resentment sets in and then your employment status becomes a sticking point in your relationship.  When you wake up with your spouse, it communicates that although you may have nowhere to go, you are going to do something with your day.  Your spouse goes to work happy to know that you aren't fulfilling the "lazy, good for nothing, moocher" stigma that's tied to the under worked.

2.  Clean Something Everyday.

When you stay at home, your spouse creates some un-spoken expectations.  One of the first things on that list is to not return to a dirty house.  You may view this expectation as unfair.  Your spouse may view having to go to work as unfair.  The least you can do is to create an environment your spouse will joyfully return to.  Forgot all the gender roles you've been ingrained to follow.  Cooking and cleaning are equal share to the family.  If you spend an hour of your day cleaning at home, when your spouse returns from their work day, there's suddenly an hour you can spend doing other things that will be much more enjoyable.

3.  Get a Hobby

Use your time to do something.  I recently picked up design work as a hobby.  When my wife returns and asks what I did today, I open a computer file and show her.  I then mention that I got paid for that design and she's happy with how I spent my day.  Pick a hobby where you can be creative with an opportunity to make more than you spend.  When your spouse returns from their workday, you'll feel prouder showing the photographs you snapped and are selling than the baseball cards you reorganized.

4.  Create a Daily Agenda

Let your spouse help you plan your days.  If your spouse needs you to do their laundry, do it!  Again, if they return home with no housework to do, then you can do other fun things instead!  Letting your spouse help plan your day eases any resentment that may occur when your spouse comes home to see you've watched 3 movies and a TV series on Netflix.

5.  Give Away the Evening

Men, I know you don't want to watch The Bachelor.  Women, I know you don't want to watch College Basketball.  But, if you stay at home, you've had the entire day to enjoy the movie you've been wanting to watch on Netflix.  Your spouse has been at work where they may have a volatile boss breathing down their neck.  They may be stressed with deadlines and workload.  So, give them the evening.  Let them know that when they come home, they can enjoy their evening without having to do yet another thing they don't want to do.  I promise investing 2 hours watching something your spouse wants to watch will be well worth the investment.

6.  Surprise Your Spouse

Surprise them by making breakfast while they're in the shower.  Scrape the snow off their car.  Stop by their work with a coffee at 2:00 PM.  Leave a note in their coat.  Doing the little things will go a long way to show them that you appreciate their work.  

7.  Exercise

If you're like me, you had a gym membership for 2 years and went 3 times because you never had time.  Well, you finally have the time.  If you can't find time to workout when you aren't working, you'll never work out.  Exercise shows your spouse that you aren't defined by your employment and that you haven't given up on yourself.  Tone up and get ready to re-enter the work force.

8.  Make a Plan

Losing a job through any fashion is not a license to be unemployed forever.  It is expected that you work again.  And depending on your financial situation, you may need to find work sooner than later.  Sit down with your spouse and create a plan for the next 3 months.  How will you pay your bills?  Where should you look for work?  How many applications should you fill out a day?  What's for dinner?  A plan will give you direction and drive.  Be disciplined in following that plan, even if the last season of Breaking Bad is released online.

I've found that when I follow these suggestions, my wife appreciates my under-employment.
When I watch Netflix all day, she resents my underemployment.
How you navigate your employment situation is between you and your spouse but I think these suggestions are options to consider.

Life Update

Well if you haven't heard by now, I no longer work at US Bank.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I was fired.

Whoops.

I didn't steal money or quit going to work or cuss out a coworker or commit sexual harassment.

(I think all of those are episodes of either the Office or Seinfeld)

My cash drawer was simply out of balance too many times for a management position.

Did I mention I haven't worked there since early December?

If you've been looking for me, I've been at home.  Let's get lunch!

So, I'm under employed at the moment.

I'm in my sixth year of student ministry in Afton

but that only consumes my Wednesdays and Sundays.

What I do Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday is at my discretion (and my wife's).

Which means:

I've started doing P90X.

I'm learning Spanish through Rosetta Stone.

I've gotten much better at FIFA 14.

Cleaning is always on my "to-do" list.

My coffee consumption is on the rise.

I've watched nearly the entire series of Dexter.

I shave a lot less often.

And I'm going back to school in the fall.

Why?  Because as much as I love student ministry,

I don't want to make a career out of it.

I really like investing in students' lives without being a burden on a church's finances.
So, I'm going to be an engineer!

In the meantime, I'm looking for temporary employment opportunities.
Hire me for some odd jobs!
Hire me to help you with construction!
Hire me for some design work! (I dabble)
Hire me for editing!
Hire me to hang out with you!

Seriously, I love learning and doing a variety of things.

One last thing:  don't pity me for getting fired.  
Working at the bank drained the life out of me.  It's a good thing I'm not there anymore.

A Normal Saturday

I had to work today. 630 AM- 330 PM.
This is my schedule every other week.
And it makes for a very long Saturday
And a short weekend.
However, I have become acquainted with long work days.
And today was just as normal as any other.
At least until lunch.

Over the last week, I've made it a point to eat lunch at home.
I do this because it's cheaper, healthier, and mostly more enjoyable.
But today was Saturday.
So, I ventured toward the mall food court.
The heat nearly stopped me as I exited the cool indoors that was the bank.
Nonetheless I departed for Chick-Fil-A.
As I journeyed the short lot separating the bank and the mall,
A car screeched as another honked.
I thought to myself how close death is to us all.

About the midway point, I witnessed a young couple struggling with a child.
The dad joked about leaving the stubborn toddler in the car.
The mom didn't laugh as she rolled her eyes and left him to deal with the kid.
I found myself contemplating their relationship and my own.

Near the mall entrance, something caught my eye.
A young couple seemed to be fighting as several passerby's watched.
I was one of them.
A twenty-something year old girl was rushing away from the scene.
She appeared to be crying.
She turned and yelled something through her tears,
Inaudible to my ears and un-understandable to the young adult boy.
He replied in a shaky voice full of desperation:
"I don't care about work, I only care about you."
It was clearly too late.
The woman screamed without turning back.
And she raced past me.
I looked at the boy who's white face wore a look impossible to forget.
Although his efforts were tardy,
He sprinted toward confrontation with his new ex.

They were both behind me as i entered the mall into a crowd of faces.
I looked around as i replayed my short voyage from the bank to the mall.
For me, this was a normal Saturday at the bank.
But for so many others, today changed their lives forever.
And it was in that moment that i realized the importance of every day.

Every day is full of uncertainty.
You never know when you will wreck your car.
You never know when bitterness will expose itself.
You never know when it's the last straw.
And that uncertainty develops our stories.
Uncertainty characterizes our lives.

Today started as just another day.
Little did i know the significance in the uncertainty of the sunrise.

Pens

I work at US Bank.
Here's something you should know about banks:
They go through a LOT of pens.
When I see a bank with pens on the end of chains
So they cannot leave the counter,
I understand. And i envy them.
Because at US Bank we supply the world with pens.
When i started my Job, I never had a pen.
And i could never find a pen.
They all mysteriously disappear.
This is a problem when there are deposit tickets and withdrawal slips that need to be completed.
So i started bringing my own pen.
It was nothing special.
Too nice of a pen wouldn't last more than an hour at the bank.
It was blue, with a translucent tube that made it identifiable.
Other than its appearance, it was just another pen.
But it was mine.
And it represented something important to me.
I actually stole that pen (sorry, hypocrisy) from a Ski Shop in Utah.
So, every time I wrote with that pen,
I was reminded of Bannanograms and Mario Kart.
Of Stephen Colbert and Taco Johns.
Of the friends that I miss,
And the memories that were made to embark 2011.
But unlike that pen, which died about a month ago (RIP),
Those memories and those friends will stay with me.

The End of an Era

The snow is thawing,
The sun is shining,
And i am now employed at the
U.S. Bank near Northpark Mall.
For a while, i felt like Atlas,
Crippling under the weight of the world.
However, structure is being built around me,
While i adjust to life out of school.
Although this is temporary support,
It provides much needed relief,
Like a cool pool on a summer day.
With framing in place,
Life seems simpler.
I can study the subtleties.
I can appreciate the aesthetics.
I have something to shield me from the elements.
And as winter slowly surrenders to spring,
My life will enter a new season as well:
Full-time employment.
I'm sure this will give me stories, frustrations, and more.
But the distinctions of seasons are not boring.
The bitterness of winter,
The blossoms of spring,
The sun of summer,
The autumn leaves,
Create an atmosphere enjoyable in its time.
And that's how i see this experience.
Unpleasant, exhausting, frustrating,
Unique, fun, frantic,
But a bookmark to many memories,
Noting the next chapter in my life.

A Converstation at Work

I have written about work before.
I remember making the statement "If you are going to come in near closing time, you should at least talk about something interesting as i clean around you.
The other day, someone did.

It was about 2:30 and i was gathering dishes from above the trash can.
I noticed a peculiar couple sitting at a table for two next to the pile of dirty dishes.
By "peculiar couple," i don't mean a married couple, or even a dating couple.
Rather, it was a couple of gentlemen --one Old and one Young.
They were not father and son.
I could tell by the conversation.
Not only that, but the stark difference in their appearance.

The Young man was in his mid to late 20s. Although he had a receding hair line, as he spoke you could hear disparity in his voice. His sandwich went untouched for several minutes, causing me to linger in gathering in the plates.

The Old man was worn. He had a long beard. Not the kind of beard that resembled Santa Claus, but rather that of a Z Z Top band member, or a sun-baked biker. His teeth were that of an Englishman and his clothes were that of a homeless man. He was the kind of man that you knew had experienced life, and could be seen in the wrinkles on his face.

I half expected this to be an act of pity from a well-to-do twenty something to an aged down-and-outer. Or maybe even a meeting in homeless ministry. But, this was not the case. Instead, the young man began to reveal his heart to the experienced elder, illuminating the issues in his life revolving around a woman.

This woman clearly owned the young man's heart because of the quiver in his voice as he vented to the apparently wise, Old man. The young man complained that the woman did not value his time. That no matter how much time he devoted to her, she was impossible to please. She always wanted more.
The Old man just sat and listened.
The young man continued and continued as i tried not to make my eaves dropping obvious.
The Old man continued to just sit and listen.
I had lingered long enough and had to return to my dish washing post.
When i returned for another sink full, the couple was gone.

Following Me

This post has nothing inciteful, funny, or thought provoking. Whatsoever. It was just something that i experienced today that i had never witnessed before in my life. It was something that i have heard a lot about, but nothing that was ever real to me (postmodernism). Here's what happened:

I was at work, mopping the ridiculously large floor. I had just kicked 6 people out, 4 of said loiterers came in at 2:58 (closing time is 3:00). That is a fairly typical day for anyone who works any sort of closing shift anywhere. That was not the odd part of my day. Here is where it gets strange:

Two of the previously mentioned "ejected," one man and one woman, had been sitting on a couch discussing business plans (or something) for the past 3 hours (my entire crappy shift). Since i do everything in the front of the store i.e. sweep, mop, trash, tables, etc., i eavesdrop on customers-- it keeps me sane (buyer beware). So i was doing my typical eavesdropping half sweep, half-hearted routine around the restaurant when i overheard a conversation in which the woman was basically taking the man to school. Once again, this is not the uncommon part of my workday. Actually this is quite typical. Nothing amounted from my snooping, leaving me disgruntled and disappointed. If you come into Columbia Traders and stay til closing time, at least talk about something interesting to keep me entertained as I dance around you with my baby sized broom.

Let's fast forward to the removal process. I tell the two consumers that we close at 3:00 and express my sympathy as to how ridiculous that actually is but nonetheless ask them to depart from the den setting found near the back. The man quickly gathers his belongings and scoots out the door. I move to the other stragglers in the store and politely ask them to get out so i can go home. They leave and i start to mop. This brings us back to where i started. Mopping after being irritated due to the insane 2:58 business. Anyway...

When i mop, i tend to gauck. Typically outside. I also dream of what other things i could be doing if i were not couped up in the spacious cage of Columbia Traders. During my glaring session, i notice the man sitting in his white, mom-version of a Suburban which i am sure was filled with capri-sun and soccer balls. What this man is doing is quite pathetic. You see, the woman with whom he was engaged in dialogue for a non-exaggerated 3 hours was still in the store (she went to the bathroom or something). So, instead of concluding the three hour meeting that he barely escaped with his manhood by going home and saulking due to his inability to control a conversation, he sits in his car, idling, glimpsing back into the store to catch site of the woman he just left.

I continued to mop. He continued to stare.
I finished mopping and watched the creeper cruise away.

This man was a straight-up creeper. A real life, non-Facebook creeper. Creeping in front of Columbia Traders. I am unsure if the woman saw the man stewing in his SUV, but she slipped out the back door and avoided another absurdly long encounter with this "man."

This actually disturbed me and i never want to see it again. Ever. In fact, i am nervous to look outside now out of fear that i may face the reality of someone staring at me as i seep and mop. So thank you Creeper-man for ruining the only place that gives me joy at work: OUTSIDE.