New Year's Resolutions

So, last year I made no resolutions.
But this year, I will make a few.

In the past, I've accomplished about 50% of my resolutions.
To check this, read this post

So here are my goals for the next year:

1. Read 10 books.
In the past, my goal was 20.
But with a full-time job, part-time ministry, and a girlfriend,
20 would be nearly impossible.
So, 10 books it is.

2. Run a half marathon.
So far in 2012, I have been extremely active.
And my goal to run a half marathon should keep me active.
The goal date is April 29th in OKC.
If you want to pay my registration fee,
I wont argue with you.

3. Save 10% of my salary
This is probably my loftiest goal.
My goal is basically to live on 70% of what I make.
FYI, that's not much money.

4. Write more
I've neglected writing over the past few months.
I've been uninspired,
Slightly stressed,
And strangely busy.
So, I want to write more over the next year.

5. Continue my education.
I'm not quite sure what this will look like,
But in 2012, I want to take a class or 2.

I'm leaving some room to come up with other goals,
But these are the main ones I want to accomplish.
They will be tough,
But when accomplished,
Rewarding.

2012

Ok, I have become terrible at this.
But I don't want to be burdened with writing.
Instead, I enjoy it.
And since I already played Temple Run for an hour,
I think it's time to break my silence.

So,
Over the next few days,
I will be reflecting on the worst year of my life.
Not to be depressed (I'm not).
Not to obtain sympathy (I don't want it).
Not to air my grievances,
Boast in life's accomplishments,
Or to explain my emotions and actions.
But simply to say---
--- thanks.
To God,
To the Church,
and to Community,
Although the last year has not been kind,
You are what is unforgettable about 2011.
You were obvious in mysteries.
You were apparent in difficulties.
You were present in silence.
I am forever grateful for your impact in 2011.

Thoughts from Kerouac

"I believed in a good home, in sane and sound living, in good food, good times, work, faith and hope. I have always believed in these things. It was with some amazement that I realized I was one of the few people in the world who really believed in these things without going around making a dull middleclass philosophy out of it." -Jack Kerouac, On the Road.

There haven't been many Kerouac quotes that I've connected with while reading his classic, On the Road.
But this one hits home.
Describing his attempt to relocate his family and settle in after years of "madness,"
Kerouac tugs at the heart of a growing problem:
The American dream as the middleclass fatality.
Trying as capitalists, countless work, toil and labor to become mundane and meaningless,
Living dreary and desperate lives in search of prosperity while inhabiting poverty.
The middleclass struggles to accumulate karma,
As though they live for reincarnation, dying daily for the upper class.
And when the few move castes, they find nothing but dullness.
That is, death.
This philosophy is what Kerouac avoided and one I want to remain absent.
Because when I tell stories as an old man,
I want them to be about what I did, not what I have.
And I want to be like the Jazz players Kerouac describes,
Arousing an audience, going, going, going, exciting with every note, until I no longer have breath.

Adulthood

I've been living life as an "adult" for nine months now.
And it has been really, really hard.
I'm not sure if it is how ridiculous life has been in 2011,
Or if that's just how life is.
But I've come to this conclusion about adulthood:


Adulthood is a labyrinth that traps the un-persistent,
Confuses the masses, and misleads the unguided.


Over the past few months, I've felt trapped, confused, and mislead.
Not to the point of hopelessness.  But enough to notice it.
And through these emotions, I've recognized 2 things:
The necessity of community.
And 
The church at work.
Moment after moment, my community has encouraged and supported.
And time after time, the church has moved and responded.
The stories from those interaction create value in the venture.
Without community and the church, 
Exploring the labyrinth of life would be nearly unbearable,
Because being trapped, lost, or confused is easier when others are right there with you.

Life As It Is

Well it has been a while since my last post.
My apologies.

Life lately has been,
Well,
Life.
Full.  Crazy.  Unexpected.
And I say that in a good tone.


Sonja and I recently got back from Seattle.
We decided to go a week before our departure date.
A little spontaneity is good.
It was a terrific trip.
Here are some highlights:


Sonja Ferkel, Airport Delays, 2 Flights - 3 planes, Keenan Donahue, Pike Place Market, The Gum Wall, First Starbucks, Jared and Julie Marling, Ethel Marling, John-Mark and Leslie Marling, Lela Marling, Rooftop dinner, Rain, Seahawks, Mariners, Tom Douglas, Tacoma, Alki Beach, and sunshine.


It was nice to be able to experience the town that I've romanticized for so long.
Of course it didn't compare to the city I had conjured up in my head,
And the culture was less than anticipated,
It wasn't overly odd or out of the ordinary.
It wasn't super artsy, hippie, or hipster.
It was simply a city.  Plain and simple.
And it was strangely enjoyable.
Sometimes I feel cities try too hard.
But Seattle was subtle and pleasant.


Then we came back to the mid-west and "normal" life.
But I'm coming to find that life is anything but normal.
Unless normal is an ever-changing variable of scenery and relationships and challenges.
Which it might be.  And that's fine.
But what I learn in the variety of life is that change is necessary to become anything.
To further yourself personally, relationally, professionally, you cannot stay constant.
Staleness is the death of life.
Bland, flavorless, and boring.
So I gladly accept all of life's twists and turns,
No matter how difficult they may be,
Looking in the rear view mirror at the man I leave behind.