Why the Chicago Cubs Will Never Win the World Series Again.

The Chicago Cubs will never win the World Series again. Ever. Ever. For eternity.

First, let me preface this comment by noting that i am a Chicago Cubs fan (to say the least).
And let me qualify the statement with the notion that i would be ecstatic if the Cubs do in fact win the World Series again.
(But they wont).
And finally let me contextualize with the fact that i haven't even given up on the Cubs this season.

So, why won't the Cubs ever win in the post season?

Let's start with baseball reasons:
1. Bad contracts to old, under-producing hitters (i.e. Soriano and Fukudome). Bad contracts not only keep players around for a stupid amount of time, but it also hampers the team from grabbing quality bullpen arms that have already cost the Cubs 6 games this year.
2. Old Facilities. Don't get me wrong, the atmosphere around Wrigley is indispensable, however, we must face the facts that the facilities as Wrigley are near the bottom in the majors.
3. A depleted farm system (although it is on the rise) from years of poor trades, mainly with the Marlins, Orioles, and Red Sox. And the Cubs always get the worst end of trades.
4. An under-critical fan base. The Cubs haven't won the World Series in 103 years. But their fan base has only grown every year. Why? Because the Cubs are the "Lovable Losers." The fans don't expect a World Series banner, they just expect a sunny day in the bleachers with a beer and a ballgame.
5. They are in the same division as Albert Pujols. No, not the Cardinals, but Albert Pujols.

Which transitions me into the philosophical reasons why the Cubs will never win the World Series again.

1. The familiar is comfortable. Because we live in a culture of comfort, the Cubs would only annoy people if they won the World Series because people are so used to them losing. For example in 2003, changing the familiar was too uncomfortable for Steve Bartman and Alex Gonzalez, so they combined to ruin the best chance the cubs have had since 1945.
2. There has to be a loser. Not everyone can win. So, the Cubs have volunteered to be that loser every year for all of eternity.
3. Americans live in routine. And so do the Cubs. Every year, Cubs fans expect the club to win around 85 games, and be competitive till September. And if this changed, so would every American's foundational understanding of the way the world works.
4. Curses are real. And so are goats.
5. The Cubs represent the helplessness of the American Dream. Every person dreams of being the one to rise to the top (i.e. the Tampa Bay Rays of life); however, they associate in reality with the Cubs, recognizing that all they can actually do is dream and hope for a few more good days than bad days.