Figuring it out

I haven't blogged since I got married.
(nearly 3 months)
I haven't really written since I got engaged.
(nearly 9 months)

I've learned a lot recently
And
life changes are abounding.

To not write would be vacant.
Not expressing would seem incomplete.

So,
I'd like to share the biggest concept I'm experiencing.

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Money is the biggest sticking point for American Marriages.
Debt, salary, spending.
So much to fight about.
Sonja and I are rather transparent with our finances.
We recently opened some accounts, closed some others,
And positioned ourselves for financial success.
Through the process, Sonja's debit cards were canceled (ha!)
Not on purpose,
One is in the mail. (calm down feminist)
Not having a debit card is frustrating.
Handing out cash gets old.
Our current position is less than ideal.

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We have the world's smallest dishwasher.
4 plates wide.
It is a puzzle to maximize the capacity.
One that can be frustrating.
Even hurtful.
Constant rearranging is necessary.
I like it loaded a certain way, Sonja doesn't care.
It doesn't matter,
It's only a dishwasher.

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Oftentimes for dinner, we make a large dish
(enchiladas, chicken pot pie, pasta)
to have leftovers for lunches throughout the week.
But I like the food we make.
And I eat a lot of it.
And then I eat out for lunch. (confession, sorry Sonja).
My self control has added 3-10 pounds to my frame.

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I've learned a lot from daily experiences like these.
To be patient.
To be selfless.
To be self-controlled.

Fruit of the spirit kind of lessons.
Healthy marriage leans into God stuff like that.

I've really loved the things I'm being taught.
The last three months formed me into a better man.
I know I'm not done figuring out the whole husband role.
I'll experience plenty more frustrating, maddening moments.
I'll commit plenty more mind-blowing, moronic mistakes.
I'll be annoyed, selfish, and resentful.
And I'm sure those lessons will teach me well.

Because the biggest thing I've learned through all life's experiences
is not patience
is not sacrifice
is not self control.

It is to learn.

What I Don't Do

Sometimes I think, "Hey, I should write today."
Then I get home from work, 
and I don't.

Whoops...

What I Do

Here's what I've been doing lately:

Work
Read
Workout
Eat
Wedding Planning
TV
FIFA
Sleep

Work
Read
Workout
Eat
Wedding Planning
TV
FIFA
Sleep

Work
Read
Workout
Eat
Wedding Planning
TV
FIFA
Sleep

And today, I add go to the pool.
YEAH!!!!!

Why the Chicago Cubs will win the World Series in 2012

Top Ten Reasons the Chicago Cubs will win the World Series in 2012

1. Pity overwhelms other teams into "going easy" on the Cubs, which the team takes advantage of.
2. Low expectations from the fan base relieve pressure that has been building over the last 100+ years.
3. Got rid of all the losers in the offseason (Zambrano, Fukudome, Ramirez, Pena).
4. An unseasonably warm winter aids the Cubs in the early months.
5. Pujols and Fielder are out of the NL Central.
6. I have MLB.TV
7. Younger, lower salary players are trying to earn the next ridiculous contract from the Cubs.
8. Derek Rose is going to play CF and dunk some home runs.
9. They hit rock bottom last year. Things can't get worse, right?
10. THEO!

The Naked Lunch Book Review

I've slowly been reading a book.
Slowly, because that's as fast as I can get through it.
Not because I'm overly busy.
Not because I lack opportunity.
But because that is the pace of the book.

The Naked Lunch is a satirical nightmare.
Its coarseness, content, and continuity
Create a mess of absurd meaning beyond words.
Difficult to read and digest,
The Naked Lunch boldly speaks to humanity without candor.
Bursting through the filter of editing, William S. Burroughs
Reveals humanity at its core through drug induced hallucinations,
Repulsing diction, and even more absurd "plot."
The Naked Lunch is disturbing, disgusting, and difficult.
In short, it is humanity.
Messy, uncertain, unexpected.
The book expounds on the enduring primal nature.
Whether in the jungle of Mexico, or InterZone
Man is reduced to the likes of baboons getting their fix.

The Naked Lunch is uncomfortable.
But so is life.
And that's where the reader connects.
Although considered one of the most important novels of the 20th century,
You don't need to read The Naked Lunch to understand it.
You simply need to listen to someone be transparent.
They will let you in on the messiness, the grotesque reality, the depressing truth
That lies underneath everyone's skin.
Life unclothed in expectation, impression, or assumption
Rid of emotion, connection, and action.
Life as it is.
Naked.
-Real and clear.
Then you will not read The Naked Lunch, but experience it.

New Year's Resolutions

So, last year I made no resolutions.
But this year, I will make a few.

In the past, I've accomplished about 50% of my resolutions.
To check this, read this post

So here are my goals for the next year:

1. Read 10 books.
In the past, my goal was 20.
But with a full-time job, part-time ministry, and a girlfriend,
20 would be nearly impossible.
So, 10 books it is.

2. Run a half marathon.
So far in 2012, I have been extremely active.
And my goal to run a half marathon should keep me active.
The goal date is April 29th in OKC.
If you want to pay my registration fee,
I wont argue with you.

3. Save 10% of my salary
This is probably my loftiest goal.
My goal is basically to live on 70% of what I make.
FYI, that's not much money.

4. Write more
I've neglected writing over the past few months.
I've been uninspired,
Slightly stressed,
And strangely busy.
So, I want to write more over the next year.

5. Continue my education.
I'm not quite sure what this will look like,
But in 2012, I want to take a class or 2.

I'm leaving some room to come up with other goals,
But these are the main ones I want to accomplish.
They will be tough,
But when accomplished,
Rewarding.

2012

Ok, I have become terrible at this.
But I don't want to be burdened with writing.
Instead, I enjoy it.
And since I already played Temple Run for an hour,
I think it's time to break my silence.

So,
Over the next few days,
I will be reflecting on the worst year of my life.
Not to be depressed (I'm not).
Not to obtain sympathy (I don't want it).
Not to air my grievances,
Boast in life's accomplishments,
Or to explain my emotions and actions.
But simply to say---
--- thanks.
To God,
To the Church,
and to Community,
Although the last year has not been kind,
You are what is unforgettable about 2011.
You were obvious in mysteries.
You were apparent in difficulties.
You were present in silence.
I am forever grateful for your impact in 2011.