As I exposed in my last blog post, I'm "under employed" at the moment.
I'm not unemployed-- I still make money.
I'm just not working a 40 hour work week.
What that means though is that I have more free time than most.
So here's some suggestions for those that find themselves either unemployed or under employed:
1. Wake Up with Your Spouse.
This sounds like really lame advice. I assure you, it's not. When your spouse goes to work and sees that you're still sleeping, the first thing to shoot through their mind is "I wish that were me." Resentment sets in and then your employment status becomes a sticking point in your relationship. When you wake up with your spouse, it communicates that although you may have nowhere to go, you are going to do something with your day. Your spouse goes to work happy to know that you aren't fulfilling the "lazy, good for nothing, moocher" stigma that's tied to the under worked.
2. Clean Something Everyday.
When you stay at home, your spouse creates some un-spoken expectations. One of the first things on that list is to not return to a dirty house. You may view this expectation as unfair. Your spouse may view having to go to work as unfair. The least you can do is to create an environment your spouse will joyfully return to. Forgot all the gender roles you've been ingrained to follow. Cooking and cleaning are equal share to the family. If you spend an hour of your day cleaning at home, when your spouse returns from their work day, there's suddenly an hour you can spend doing other things that will be much more enjoyable.
3. Get a Hobby
Use your time to do something. I recently picked up design work as a hobby. When my wife returns and asks what I did today, I open a computer file and show her. I then mention that I got paid for that design and she's happy with how I spent my day. Pick a hobby where you can be creative with an opportunity to make more than you spend. When your spouse returns from their workday, you'll feel prouder showing the photographs you snapped and are selling than the baseball cards you reorganized.
4. Create a Daily Agenda
Let your spouse help you plan your days. If your spouse needs you to do their laundry, do it! Again, if they return home with no housework to do, then you can do other fun things instead! Letting your spouse help plan your day eases any resentment that may occur when your spouse comes home to see you've watched 3 movies and a TV series on Netflix.
5. Give Away the Evening
Men, I know you don't want to watch The Bachelor. Women, I know you don't want to watch College Basketball. But, if you stay at home, you've had the entire day to enjoy the movie you've been wanting to watch on Netflix. Your spouse has been at work where they may have a volatile boss breathing down their neck. They may be stressed with deadlines and workload. So, give them the evening. Let them know that when they come home, they can enjoy their evening without having to do yet another thing they don't want to do. I promise investing 2 hours watching something your spouse wants to watch will be well worth the investment.
6. Surprise Your Spouse
Surprise them by making breakfast while they're in the shower. Scrape the snow off their car. Stop by their work with a coffee at 2:00 PM. Leave a note in their coat. Doing the little things will go a long way to show them that you appreciate their work.
7. Exercise
If you're like me, you had a gym membership for 2 years and went 3 times because you never had time. Well, you finally have the time. If you can't find time to workout when you aren't working, you'll never work out. Exercise shows your spouse that you aren't defined by your employment and that you haven't given up on yourself. Tone up and get ready to re-enter the work force.
8. Make a Plan
Losing a job through any fashion is not a license to be unemployed forever. It is expected that you work again. And depending on your financial situation, you may need to find work sooner than later. Sit down with your spouse and create a plan for the next 3 months. How will you pay your bills? Where should you look for work? How many applications should you fill out a day? What's for dinner? A plan will give you direction and drive. Be disciplined in following that plan, even if the last season of Breaking Bad is released online.
I've found that when I follow these suggestions, my wife appreciates my under-employment.
When I watch Netflix all day, she resents my underemployment.
How you navigate your employment situation is between you and your spouse but I think these suggestions are options to consider.
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