"I believed in a good home, in sane and sound living, in good food, good times, work, faith and hope. I have always believed in these things. It was with some amazement that I realized I was one of the few people in the world who really believed in these things without going around making a dull middleclass philosophy out of it." -Jack Kerouac, On the Road.
There haven't been many Kerouac quotes that I've connected with while reading his classic, On the Road.
But this one hits home.
Describing his attempt to relocate his family and settle in after years of "madness,"
Kerouac tugs at the heart of a growing problem:
The American dream as the middleclass fatality.
Trying as capitalists, countless work, toil and labor to become mundane and meaningless,
Living dreary and desperate lives in search of prosperity while inhabiting poverty.
The middleclass struggles to accumulate karma,
As though they live for reincarnation, dying daily for the upper class.
And when the few move castes, they find nothing but dullness.
That is, death.
This philosophy is what Kerouac avoided and one I want to remain absent.
Because when I tell stories as an old man,
I want them to be about what I did, not what I have.
And I want to be like the Jazz players Kerouac describes,
Arousing an audience, going, going, going, exciting with every note, until I no longer have breath.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Adulthood
I've been living life as an "adult" for nine months now.
And it has been really, really hard.
I'm not sure if it is how ridiculous life has been in 2011,
Or if that's just how life is.
But I've come to this conclusion about adulthood:
Adulthood is a labyrinth that traps the un-persistent,
Confuses the masses, and misleads the unguided.
Over the past few months, I've felt trapped, confused, and mislead.
Not to the point of hopelessness. But enough to notice it.
And through these emotions, I've recognized 2 things:
The necessity of community.
And
The church at work.
Moment after moment, my community has encouraged and supported.
And time after time, the church has moved and responded.
The stories from those interaction create value in the venture.
Without community and the church,
Exploring the labyrinth of life would be nearly unbearable,
Because being trapped, lost, or confused is easier when others are right there with you.
And it has been really, really hard.
I'm not sure if it is how ridiculous life has been in 2011,
Or if that's just how life is.
But I've come to this conclusion about adulthood:
Adulthood is a labyrinth that traps the un-persistent,
Confuses the masses, and misleads the unguided.
Over the past few months, I've felt trapped, confused, and mislead.
Not to the point of hopelessness. But enough to notice it.
And through these emotions, I've recognized 2 things:
The necessity of community.
And
The church at work.
Moment after moment, my community has encouraged and supported.
And time after time, the church has moved and responded.
The stories from those interaction create value in the venture.
Without community and the church,
Exploring the labyrinth of life would be nearly unbearable,
Because being trapped, lost, or confused is easier when others are right there with you.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Life As It Is
Well it has been a while since my last post.
My apologies.
Life lately has been,
Well,
Life.
Full. Crazy. Unexpected.
And I say that in a good tone.
Sonja and I recently got back from Seattle.
We decided to go a week before our departure date.
A little spontaneity is good.
It was a terrific trip.
Here are some highlights:
Sonja Ferkel, Airport Delays, 2 Flights - 3 planes, Keenan Donahue, Pike Place Market, The Gum Wall, First Starbucks, Jared and Julie Marling, Ethel Marling, John-Mark and Leslie Marling, Lela Marling, Rooftop dinner, Rain, Seahawks, Mariners, Tom Douglas, Tacoma, Alki Beach, and sunshine.
It was nice to be able to experience the town that I've romanticized for so long.
Of course it didn't compare to the city I had conjured up in my head,
And the culture was less than anticipated,
It wasn't overly odd or out of the ordinary.
It wasn't super artsy, hippie, or hipster.
It was simply a city. Plain and simple.
And it was strangely enjoyable.
Sometimes I feel cities try too hard.
But Seattle was subtle and pleasant.
Then we came back to the mid-west and "normal" life.
But I'm coming to find that life is anything but normal.
Unless normal is an ever-changing variable of scenery and relationships and challenges.
Which it might be. And that's fine.
But what I learn in the variety of life is that change is necessary to become anything.
To further yourself personally, relationally, professionally, you cannot stay constant.
Staleness is the death of life.
Bland, flavorless, and boring.
So I gladly accept all of life's twists and turns,
No matter how difficult they may be,
Looking in the rear view mirror at the man I leave behind.
My apologies.
Life lately has been,
Well,
Life.
Full. Crazy. Unexpected.
And I say that in a good tone.
Sonja and I recently got back from Seattle.
We decided to go a week before our departure date.
A little spontaneity is good.
It was a terrific trip.
Here are some highlights:
Sonja Ferkel, Airport Delays, 2 Flights - 3 planes, Keenan Donahue, Pike Place Market, The Gum Wall, First Starbucks, Jared and Julie Marling, Ethel Marling, John-Mark and Leslie Marling, Lela Marling, Rooftop dinner, Rain, Seahawks, Mariners, Tom Douglas, Tacoma, Alki Beach, and sunshine.
It was nice to be able to experience the town that I've romanticized for so long.
Of course it didn't compare to the city I had conjured up in my head,
And the culture was less than anticipated,
It wasn't overly odd or out of the ordinary.
It wasn't super artsy, hippie, or hipster.
It was simply a city. Plain and simple.
And it was strangely enjoyable.
Sometimes I feel cities try too hard.
But Seattle was subtle and pleasant.
Then we came back to the mid-west and "normal" life.
But I'm coming to find that life is anything but normal.
Unless normal is an ever-changing variable of scenery and relationships and challenges.
Which it might be. And that's fine.
But what I learn in the variety of life is that change is necessary to become anything.
To further yourself personally, relationally, professionally, you cannot stay constant.
Staleness is the death of life.
Bland, flavorless, and boring.
So I gladly accept all of life's twists and turns,
No matter how difficult they may be,
Looking in the rear view mirror at the man I leave behind.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
A Normal Saturday
I had to work today. 630 AM- 330 PM.
This is my schedule every other week.
And it makes for a very long Saturday
And a short weekend.
However, I have become acquainted with long work days.
And today was just as normal as any other.
At least until lunch.
Over the last week, I've made it a point to eat lunch at home.
I do this because it's cheaper, healthier, and mostly more enjoyable.
But today was Saturday.
So, I ventured toward the mall food court.
The heat nearly stopped me as I exited the cool indoors that was the bank.
Nonetheless I departed for Chick-Fil-A.
As I journeyed the short lot separating the bank and the mall,
A car screeched as another honked.
I thought to myself how close death is to us all.
About the midway point, I witnessed a young couple struggling with a child.
The dad joked about leaving the stubborn toddler in the car.
The mom didn't laugh as she rolled her eyes and left him to deal with the kid.
I found myself contemplating their relationship and my own.
Near the mall entrance, something caught my eye.
A young couple seemed to be fighting as several passerby's watched.
I was one of them.
A twenty-something year old girl was rushing away from the scene.
She appeared to be crying.
She turned and yelled something through her tears,
Inaudible to my ears and un-understandable to the young adult boy.
He replied in a shaky voice full of desperation:
"I don't care about work, I only care about you."
It was clearly too late.
The woman screamed without turning back.
And she raced past me.
I looked at the boy who's white face wore a look impossible to forget.
Although his efforts were tardy,
He sprinted toward confrontation with his new ex.
They were both behind me as i entered the mall into a crowd of faces.
I looked around as i replayed my short voyage from the bank to the mall.
For me, this was a normal Saturday at the bank.
But for so many others, today changed their lives forever.
And it was in that moment that i realized the importance of every day.
Every day is full of uncertainty.
You never know when you will wreck your car.
You never know when bitterness will expose itself.
You never know when it's the last straw.
And that uncertainty develops our stories.
Uncertainty characterizes our lives.
Today started as just another day.
Little did i know the significance in the uncertainty of the sunrise.
This is my schedule every other week.
And it makes for a very long Saturday
And a short weekend.
However, I have become acquainted with long work days.
And today was just as normal as any other.
At least until lunch.
Over the last week, I've made it a point to eat lunch at home.
I do this because it's cheaper, healthier, and mostly more enjoyable.
But today was Saturday.
So, I ventured toward the mall food court.
The heat nearly stopped me as I exited the cool indoors that was the bank.
Nonetheless I departed for Chick-Fil-A.
As I journeyed the short lot separating the bank and the mall,
A car screeched as another honked.
I thought to myself how close death is to us all.
About the midway point, I witnessed a young couple struggling with a child.
The dad joked about leaving the stubborn toddler in the car.
The mom didn't laugh as she rolled her eyes and left him to deal with the kid.
I found myself contemplating their relationship and my own.
Near the mall entrance, something caught my eye.
A young couple seemed to be fighting as several passerby's watched.
I was one of them.
A twenty-something year old girl was rushing away from the scene.
She appeared to be crying.
She turned and yelled something through her tears,
Inaudible to my ears and un-understandable to the young adult boy.
He replied in a shaky voice full of desperation:
"I don't care about work, I only care about you."
It was clearly too late.
The woman screamed without turning back.
And she raced past me.
I looked at the boy who's white face wore a look impossible to forget.
Although his efforts were tardy,
He sprinted toward confrontation with his new ex.
They were both behind me as i entered the mall into a crowd of faces.
I looked around as i replayed my short voyage from the bank to the mall.
For me, this was a normal Saturday at the bank.
But for so many others, today changed their lives forever.
And it was in that moment that i realized the importance of every day.
Every day is full of uncertainty.
You never know when you will wreck your car.
You never know when bitterness will expose itself.
You never know when it's the last straw.
And that uncertainty develops our stories.
Uncertainty characterizes our lives.
Today started as just another day.
Little did i know the significance in the uncertainty of the sunrise.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
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